Yale Guen Mar, are you still mad with your mother, Kim Hi Wong?
Isn't that grossly unfair?
There are bad sons (like Yale Guen Mar) but bad mother is an oxymoron.
Post by Resty Wyse
And that is certainly not the fault of your mother, Kim Hi Wong.
She was the worst of the worse.
Get over your irrational grudges.
Kim Hi Wong and Tony Chee Mar were great parents. Ellen, Donald and Eugene grew up to be accomplished citizens. If you didn't it was your own character flaws that came in the way. Don't blame them, blame yourself for your pitiable life.
Remember everything you owe Tony Chee Mar. You met Tony Chee Mar for the first time as a 11 year old FOB in San Francisco - you had arrived from Hong Kong in 1949 after the communists took over the country you were born in. Tony Chee Mar (a US citizen) declared that you were his son so that you could be in USA.
Remember what he told you when you arrived in San Francisco, "This is Thanksgiving. We are going to have turkey." Wonder-struck, you asked him, "What is Thanksgiving, what is turkey?"
Tony Chee Mar brought you up in his home in 914 10th Street in Phoenix, AZ. He let you work in his cafe. He taught you English and mathematics.
And, yes, he did punish you often, but that was because he had to. He hoped his (and Kim Hi Wong's) punishments will help you become a better person.
Unfortunately, you were incorrigible. You just couldn't stay on the straight and narrow. This, together with the obsession you had developed as a child in rural China of finger-fucking pigs in their assholes, made sure that you were never more than the miserable self you are right now.
Yale Guen Mar, you are still blinded by rage more than a dozen years after Tony Chee Mar and Kim Hi Wong passed away.
You are angry that you got punished by Kim Hi Wong who was doing all she could to keep you in the straight and narrow but to no avail.
It seems you are still sore that Tony Chee Mar cut off your pigtail the moment you landed in San Francisco on the Thanksgiving day of 1949.
You shouldn't bear grudge against Tony Chee Mar for refusing to shave a straight line along your head either.
Tony Chee Mar wanted to be a thoughtful father for an 11-year old boy he was seeing for the first time in his life. Tony had declared himself to be your father so that you could find refuge in USA after the imposition of CCP dictatorship in Beijing.
Yale Guen Mar, your "father" didn't want you to be ridiculed and heckled by your school mates in the new country.
That is why he chopped off your pigtail as soon as you got off the boat in San Francisco. And that is why he shaved off all your hair so that you could grow a normal crew cut and meld with your classmates.
But don't be an ingrate. Tony Chee Mar did his best to bring you up properly. You owe him immense debt. The least you can do is to visit Tony Chee Mar's grave now and then. Do so on November 5 (birthday), March 28 (day of death) and, of course, at Quingming festival and the Hungry Ghost festival. You will be a happier man if you do so.