2017-10-28 12:51:29 UTC
Yale Guen Mar, your sphincter muscles have been gone for good. What are your plans? While away in diapers twirling your thumbs? Or are you going to be proactively looking for a cure?
To set the record straight, Yale Guen Mar is still alive in Merced, CA but he has just lived through a near-death experience after an enraged Ms. Lee of the Merced Community Food Market shoved an opo squash up Yale Guen Mar's asshole.
While Yale Guen Mar's successful surgery to extricate the opo squash from his asshole is a testimony to advances in medical science, it has cast a doom on Yale Guen Mar's Hmong neighbors who have been praying for a long time for the permanent departure of Yale Guen Mar from the area.
In fact, Yale Guen Mar's Hmong neighbors will gladly finance Yale Guen Mar's trip to Cambodia for alternate medical treatment if Yale Guen Mar is willing to pledge that he won't ever come back to Merced.
Meichi Thai has kept the Hmong neighbors apprised of Yale Guen Mar's travails following the surgery to extricate the opo squash that had got lodged inside Yale Guen Mar's asshole when an enraged Ms. Lee of the Merced Community Food Market assaulted Yale Guen Mar for farting inside the grocery store.
But it looks like Yale Guen Mar's sphincter muscle is now beyond redemption. Yale Guen Mar wants a sphincter muscle transplant to regain control over his asshole. Doctors are looking for possible donors in Merced's piggeries.
In the meantime, as a temporary fix, the doctors have suggested use of corks in Yale Guen Mar's asshole to stem continuous outflow of stool. Resty's caregiver, Meichi Thai, has been inserting corks into Yale Guen Mar's asshole to stem the flow.
Meichi Thai, apprising the Hmong neighbors on Twlight Avenue, lamented that it was indeed a very messy situation inside 3851 Twilight Avenue in Merced, CA. She dreads every time she has to uncork Yale Guen Mar's asshole to release the shit inside him.
Yale Guen Mar, you have far more immediate and far more graver issues to attend to to be wasting your time thinking ill of others.
The latest calamity to befall you is your loss of use of your sphincter muscle following the assault on you by Ms. Lee with an opo squash inside the Merced Community Food Market.
Yes, doctors may try to transplant a sphincter muscle of a pig on to your asshole to give you a modicum of control over your ability to shit normally. But you'll be better off accepting the generous offer of your Hmong neighbors. They want you you to travel ASAP to your physician, Dr. Dong, in Cambodia for alternate medical treatment of your ailment. Your Hmong neighbors have voted to finance your trip to Cambodia provided you agree never to come back to Merced or even to USA.
So, Yale Guen Mar, take advantage of the generous offer by your Hmong neighbors and move to Cambodia for good. That would also take care of your other problem - the court ordered restraining order on you never to be within 200 yards of Yue Chen Market of the Miaos.
Yale Guen Mar, I think it is as apt as it is momentous that Mr. Miao of Yue Cheng Market has obtained restraining order against you. Don't be within 200 yards of Yue Cheng Market unless you want to spend the rest of your life inside a psychiatric ward to keep your mental illness under control.
February 12, 2015
Old man walks into a Merced grocery store and poops several times before calmly walking out
"Employees didn't know what on earth had just happened," witness says. "The stench was unreal."
MERCED, CA, February 12 (AP) -- Yue Chung Market, a local grocery store in Merced was closed temporarily after a 77 year old man from the neighborhood strolled in wearing shorts and flip-flops around lunchtime on Thursday and deposited multiple poops on the floor.
The "customer" apparently wasn't interested in shopping when he walked into the grocery store in Merced around lunchtime on Thursday.
Owner Cheng Miao saw the determined dumper.
"He didn't say anything at all, but you could tell from his face he looked angry," Miao said. "I wasn't really paying attention until I noticed a foul, but unmistakable smell. I looked at the old geezer and he was just calmly walking around the grocery store -- going through all the aisles he could."
The man also purposefully pooped at the entrance of the grocery shop.
"It's quite clear what the old man was doing -- he just had this calm but angry look on his face, as he walked around leaving special deposits on the floor," Miao said. "And then as calmly as he walked in. he left. Grocery shop employees didn't know what on earth had just happened. The stench was unreal."
The grocery shop closed down while employees cleaned up the mess.
"The old geezer lives within a stone's throw of the grocery store. I have no idea why he covered the grocery store in excrement, but he didn't look ill - he just looked a bit smug as he walked out," Miao said.
Merced county's health office has taken note of the incident. The old man will be remanded for psychiatric evaluation.