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They all can go to hell as far as I am concerned. No one in my family gave a second thought to dead people. No one in Ben's family gave a second thought to dead people. You Indians wasted your time concerning the dead. Dead is dead. Go on with your
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Resty Wyse
2016-10-26 03:28:09 UTC
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They all can go to hell as far as I am concerned.
No one in my family gave a second thought to dead people.
No one in Ben's family gave a second thought to dead people.

You Indians wasted your time concerning the dead.
Dead is dead. Go on with your lives. Leave the dead to the dead.
s***@gmail.com
2016-10-26 13:31:37 UTC
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Post by Resty Wyse
They all can go to hell as far as I am concerned.
No one in my family gave a second thought to dead people.
No one in Ben's family gave a second thought to dead people.
You Indians wasted your time concerning the dead.
Dead is dead. Go on with your lives. Leave the dead to the dead.
Yale Guen Mar, as usual, you have it all wrong.

Your dead parents and your dead uncle and aunt are not your enemies.

The enemy is within you.

As Marcus Cicero had observed, “The enemy is within the gates; it is with our own luxury, our own folly, our own criminality that we have to contend.”
Post by Resty Wyse
You are absolutely right.
When I was about 3 years old, I somehow caught my next-door neighbor's chick
that was in the process of changing her downs to feathers. In the process of
changing to feathers, the chick was the ugliest thing around. I took one
feather and pull on it, and it came off easily. At the end, the chick was
featherless.
"When I see you beat your son so badly, I am afraid to tell you
what your son did to my chick".
Yale Guen Mar, you are purposefully prevaricating by reversing the cause-and-consequence.

You pulled out the feathers first. It was then that you got punished.

But obviously you didn't get punished enough. That is why you soon graduated from tormenting chicken to tormenting pigs.

You haven't changed one bit.

Your perverted ways came through when you gave potty training to Valentina and Luca on skype or when you groped Judah.

You still need a lot of spanking to keep you on the straight and narrow. I only wish your mother Kim Hi Wong was around to beat the crap out of your shit-hole every time you misbehaved.

Uncle Ben tried to be nice to you. He gave you a job - as the janitor at Junction City Cafe in Junction City, KS. He wanted to send you to college at Kansas State University at Manhattan.

But you would rather cohort with the pigs in your Uncle's hog farm.

Uncle Ben was so fed up with you that he finally beat the crap out of you and sent you back to Arizona,

Yale Guen Mar, you should be thankful that Tony Chee Mar, Ben Shee Mar, Kim Hi Wong and Susan Suey Oy Wong were all ready to help you. But so vile was your heart that you spurned the help.

To this day you are sulking that you used to get punished and beaten up for your misbehavior. But just imagine what would have happened if if they hadn't punished you. You would have been the vilest of viles.

So, Yale Guen Mar, if you have any complaint against you parents, it should be that they didn't beat you enough.

Try to change yourself.

November 5 would be a good day to try. Tony Chee Mar would have been 101 that day. Go visit his grave at Lot 49 of East Palm Cemetery. Do for Tony Chee Mar what you should have done long time ago.

And, for heaven's sake, don't shit on the grave. That would make you beyond any redemption.
rst9
2016-10-26 16:28:24 UTC
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On Wednesday, October 26, 2016 at 6:31:40 AM UTC-7, ***@gmail.com wrote:
Forget the dead, Satish. They are dead and gone.
Look forward, not backward.
s***@gmail.com
2016-10-27 03:49:55 UTC
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Post by rst9
Forget the dead, Satish. They are dead and gone.
Look forward, not backward.
That's subterfuge. Yale Guen Mar, it is you who is looking back and in anger. You still can't get over your resentment that you were thrashed time and again as a child for your mischiefs.

And you think that the way forward is to forget everything you owe to your parents Tony Chee Mar and Kim Hi Wong, and even to uncle Ben and aunt Susan.

But they are all dead. You can't hurt them in any way. But by refusing to acknowledge that you used to get thrashed because they had your welfare in their mind, you are really punishing yourself without knowing it.

Your dead parents and your dead uncle and aunt are not your enemies.

The enemy is within you.

As Marcus Cicero had observed, “The enemy is within the gates; it is with our own luxury, our own folly, our own criminality that we have to contend.”
Post by rst9
You are absolutely right.
When I was about 3 years old, I somehow caught my next-door neighbor's chick
that was in the process of changing her downs to feathers. In the process of
changing to feathers, the chick was the ugliest thing around. I took one
feather and pull on it, and it came off easily. At the end, the chick was
featherless.
"When I see you beat your son so badly, I am afraid to tell you
what your son did to my chick".
Yale Guen Mar, you are purposefully prevaricating by reversing the cause-and-consequence.

You pulled out the feathers first. It was then that you got punished.

But obviously you didn't get punished enough. That is why you soon graduated from tormenting chicken to tormenting pigs.

You haven't changed one bit.

Your perverted ways came through when you gave potty training to Valentina and Luca on skype or when you groped Judah.

You still need a lot of spanking to keep you on the straight and narrow. I only wish your mother Kim Hi Wong was around to beat the crap out of your shit-hole every time you misbehaved.

Uncle Ben tried to be nice to you. He gave you a job - as the janitor at Junction City Cafe in Junction City, KS. He wanted to send you to college at Kansas State University at Manhattan.

But you would rather cohort with the pigs in your Uncle's hog farm.

Uncle Ben was so fed up with you that he finally beat the crap out of you and sent you back to Arizona,

Yale Guen Mar, you should be thankful that Tony Chee Mar, Ben Shee Mar, Kim Hi Wong and Susan Suey Oy Wong were all ready to help you. But so vile was your heart that you spurned the help.

To this day you are sulking that you used to get punished and beaten up for your misbehavior. But just imagine what would have happened if if they hadn't punished you. You would have been the vilest of viles.

So, Yale Guen Mar, if you have any complaint against you parents, it should be that they didn't beat you enough.

Try to change yourself.

November 5 would be a good day to begin the change. Tony Chee Mar would have been 101 that day. Go visit his grave at Lot 49 of East Palm Cemetery. Do for Tony Chee Mar what you should have done long time ago. Do what Donald, Eugene and Ellen do on November 5. Be grateful that you had parents like Tony Chee Mar and Kim Hi Wong.

And, for heaven's sake, don't shit on the grave. That would make you beyond any redemption.

Try to reconcile yourself to the fact that you were a rotten and selfish child. Try to acknowledge that your parents and your uncle and aunt were all trying to reform you. Only then will you have peace in mind.

Peace will not come by demonizing your ancestors. Peace will come when you acknowledge the demon inside you.
Zhong Liang
2016-10-27 11:44:20 UTC
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Post by Resty Wyse
They all can go to hell as far as I am concerned.
hell (in bible) means 'separated from God'
No one in my family gave a second thought to dead people.
No one in Ben's family gave a second thought to dead people.
we are be good treating our family's member
when they are still alive. Even if our loved ones are gone,
they are still remembering in our heart, forever.
Post by Resty Wyse
You Indians wasted your time concerning the dead.
Dead is dead. Go on with your lives. Leave the dead to the dead.
Do what's valuable.
s***@gmail.com
2016-10-27 15:17:47 UTC
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Post by Zhong Liang
Post by Resty Wyse
They all can go to hell as far as I am concerned.
hell (in bible) means 'separated from God'
Ironically, it is Yale Guen Mar who seems totally separated frpm God and family alike.
Post by Zhong Liang
Post by Resty Wyse
No one in my family gave a second thought to dead people.
No one in Ben's family gave a second thought to dead people.
we are be good treating our family's member
when they are still alive. Even if our loved ones are gone,
they are still remembering in our heart, forever.
Please don't judge the Mar family by the shenanigans of Yale Guen Mar.

Tony Chee Mar and Kim Hi Wong were good parents. The other three children (Donald Yale Mar, Eugene Yale Mar and Ellen Heath) grew up to be loving children and productive members of the society.

If one visits Lot 9 in East Paln Cemetery in Tucson, AZ, one can see that the graves of Tony Chee Mar and Kim Hi Wong receive TLC (tender loving care).

Yale Guen Mar did not attend the funerals of Tony Chee Mar and Kim Hi Wong. He is full of resentment because as a child he got punished by his parents repeatedly for his mischiefs.

Yes, the parents (especially mom Kim Hi Wong) used to thrash son Yale Guen Mar whenever he did bad things (and that was often).

It gave Kim Hi Wong no pleasure to beat the crap out of Yale Guen Mar - she did it in the hope that her son would reform to become a good kid like her other children. It never happened.

Yale Guen Mar never visits the grave of his parents.
Post by Zhong Liang
Post by Resty Wyse
You Indians wasted your time concerning the dead.
Dead is dead. Go on with your lives. Leave the dead to the dead.
Do what's valuable.
You blame Kim Hi Wong for beating you. But what else could she do to keep you on the straight and narrow? I blame Kim Hi Wong not for beating you but for not beating you enough. She should have beaten the crap out of you every time you acted irresponsibly and even vilely.

Kim Hi Wong did not enjoy beating you. She beat you because she had to for your own good. And afte each beating, Kim Hi Wong talked to sister-in-law Susan Suey Oy Wong and cried in anguish - Kim would tell Susan how mch it hurt to have to beat you.

Yale Guen Mar, this is what you wrote of your parents ten years ago (in 2006) when they were both gone (it was too little and too late):

https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/soc.culture.china/ee6C3jdVajw
Post by Zhong Liang
I am very much interested in hearing from Chinese-Americans within the
United States on how their aged parents/grandparents were faring in
their sunset years. It was ironic for me growing up in a small town,
living in California most of my adult life about a thousand miles from
"home". As each of us gets older and educated, we leave "home" only to
come "home" for visit once or twice a year. My sibblings live in
Tucson about 125 miles away leaving my parents alone at "home". To me,
"home" was, is and will always be 914 10th St. and I never take any of
my things from "home" to California.
Then my father got sick and checked into the hospital. My brother in
Tucson returned "home" and talked to the doctor, who said my father may
be in hospital for about a week. Since my mother can not speak English
and alone at home, he decided to transfer my father to Tucson Medical
Center where he works and move my mother to a retirement home in
Tucson. The house was sold. "Home" is no more. All my college year
photos were gone, my short-wave radio, my gun collection, everything in
my bedroom, including the photos of my favorite pigs, were thrown away
or given away without telling me.
My father recovered and moved into the retirement home with my mother,
each taken up a room with a cost of $1,200/month each for a total of
$2,400. With no outside activities and eat and sleep, my father died
in 15 months later. My mother died two years later after my father. I
believe my mother died of loneliness and neglect. I have 3 sibblings
living in Tucson, not one would visit and talk to my mother often
enough to care.
Yale Guen Mar, 914 10th Street in Phoenix should have been like your home. Instead you chose to make it a storage place for your contrabands.

Yale Guen Mar, can't you ever get over the loss of your gun collection, photos of your favorite pigs and your short-wave radio? Donald and Eugene were only trying to protect you from yourself.

Yale Guen Mar, you are being grossly unfair to your brothers Eugene Yale Mar and Donald Yale Mar and sister Ellen Heath. They were achievers. The only reason they got rid of your gun collection, short-wave radio and the photos of your favorite pigs was to save you from yourself.

Quit holding grudges against Donald, Eugene and Ellen, get their help to cope with your problems.


https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/soc.culture.china/0gktBIhvVfk
Post by Zhong Liang
Yale Guen Mar, you are an ingrate, You bite the hand of parents that feeds
you. Without them feeding you, how can you grow up without them? You eat
rice or pasta, and yet you don't know their price. It shows that you are an
ignorant fool. It shows that you are an ingrate. You have character flaws.
Perhaps you should stop blaming your dead parents, and repent your life,
Just stop blaming your mother, Kim Hi Wong, and your father, Tony Chee Mar,
for all your rants. You are now 77. Own up to your character flaws before
you faked away.
Tony Chee Mar and Kim Hi Wong were good parents. They did everything possible for Yale Guen Mar. Unfortunately, Yale Guen Mar was a very bad son. He continued to wallow in selfishness and utter stupidity.

https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/soc.culture.china/Cl4-o1wzUPk
Post by Zhong Liang
All my relatives/ancestry before my generation were losers.
So don't ever talk about them to me. I have nothing but
contempt for them. And it includes all the cousins I have.
Yale Guen Mar, you used to lie to your parents, uncle and aunt. And now you lie on the newsgroup. Yale Guen Mar, you are all sleaze with not an iota of any redeeming feature.

Yale Guen Mar was a bad son from day one. He was not welcome at the funerals of his uncle and aunt abd even at the funerals of his own parents.

To put Yale Guen Mar's villainy in perspective, no one in the Mar clan wanted Yale Guen Mar to attend the funerals of Yale Guen Mar's Uncle (his father's twin brother) some 30 years ago. The pattern was repeated at the funeral of Yale Guen Mar's aunt about half-a-dozen years ago. No one in the Mar clan could stand the thought of Yale Guen Mar being at the funeral. So, cousin Yue Chung Mar very plainly told Yale Guen Mar that he was not welcome.

Yale Guen Ma was a bad son right from his birth !!

A bad mother is a rarity. A bad son a far more common occurrence. Yale Guen Mar is of course trying to shift the blame on his mother. But it is obvious that it is Yale Guen Mar who was always at fault.


Yale Guen Mar never supported his parents financially or otherwise.. It was the parents who indulged Yale Guen Mar when they allowed him to retain his room in their house long after he was no longer a minor.

Yale Guen Mar lost his room only when his 3 siblings put an end to the indulgence. They got rid of everything that Yale Guen Mar had stored in t hat room, including his collection of his semen-stained photos of his favorite pigs.

No one in the Mar family (including the 3 siblings) wants to remember Yale Guen Mar, and understandably so. Yale Guen Mar was specifically told by family members that he was not welcome at the funeral of his own parents, let alone at the funerals of cousin Homer Yale Mar's parents, Ben Shee Mar and Susan Suey Oy Wong.

Yale Guen Mar is hated by everyone in the Mar clan and rightly so.
rst9
2016-10-27 16:26:26 UTC
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On Thursday, October 27, 2016 at 8:17:49 AM UTC-7, ***@gmail.com wrote:

Satish, stop talking about the dead.
Dead is the end.
Now, stop it.
The world has enough trouble already without the past.
s***@gmail.com
2016-10-27 16:34:26 UTC
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Post by rst9
Satish, stop talking about the dead.
Dead is the end.
Now, stop it.
The world has enough trouble already without the past.
Yale Guen Mar, stop holding grudges against your parents. They did their best for you. But unfortunately, your character flaws made it certain that no one could save you from your self-destructive bent.

If Kim Hi Wong (your mother) thrashed you, it was always in the hope that you will realize that you are in the wrong and turn to a better way of life. It never happened.

It gave Kim Hi Wong no pleasure to thrash you. After thrashing you, she would always be in deep anguish. She had cried a thousand times while talking of her anguish to her sister-in-law, Susan Suey Oy Wong.

Now they are all dead. They can no longer punish you for your errant ways. Stop holding a grudge against them.

On November 5, Tony Chee Mar would have turned 101. Go and visit his grave in Lot 9 at East Palm Cemetery in Tucson, AZ. Offer flowers, paper money, incense - anything to show your respect. It won't make a difference to them because they are dead. But it will make a big difference to you to acknowledge your debt to parents and to your uncle and aunt. You'll be happier.
s***@gmail.com
2016-10-30 14:20:46 UTC
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Yale Guen Mar, 914 10th Street in Phoenix should have been like your home. Instead you chose to make it a storage place for your contrabands.


https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/soc.culture.china/ee6C3jdVajw
Post by Zhong Liang
I am very much interested in hearing from Chinese-Americans within the
United States on how their aged parents/grandparents were faring in
their sunset years. It was ironic for me growing up in a small town,
living in California most of my adult life about a thousand miles from
"home". As each of us gets older and educated, we leave "home" only to
come "home" for visit once or twice a year. My sibblings live in
Tucson about 125 miles away leaving my parents alone at "home". To me,
"home" was, is and will always be 914 10th St. and I never take any of
my things from "home" to California.
Then my father got sick and checked into the hospital. My brother in
Tucson returned "home" and talked to the doctor, who said my father may
be in hospital for about a week. Since my mother can not speak English
and alone at home, he decided to transfer my father to Tucson Medical
Center where he works and move my mother to a retirement home in
Tucson. The house was sold. "Home" is no more. All my college year
photos were gone, my short-wave radio, my gun collection, everything in
my bedroom, including the photos of my favorite pigs, were thrown away
or given away without telling me.
My father recovered and moved into the retirement home with my mother,
each taken up a room with a cost of $1,200/month each for a total of
$2,400. With no outside activities and eat and sleep, my father died
in 15 months later. My mother died two years later after my father. I
believe my mother died of loneliness and neglect. I have 3 sibblings
living in Tucson, not one would visit and talk to my mother often
enough to care.
Yale Guen Mar, can't you ever get over the loss of your gun collection, photos of your favorite pigs and your short-wave radio? Donald and Eugene were only trying to protect you from yourself.

Yale Guen Mar, you are being grossly unfair to your brothers Eugene Yale Mar and Donald Yale Mar. They were achievers. The only reason they got rid of your gun collection, short-wave radio and the photos of your favorite pigs was to save you from yourself.

Quit holding grudges against Donald and Eugene, Get their help to cope with your problems.

Funeral rites for an elderly person follow the prescribed form and convey relevant respect: rites befitting the person's status, age etc. are performed even if this means the family of the deceased must go into debt to pay for them.

Ben Shee Mar and Susan Suye Oy Wong were fortunate to be honored at their burial by their children and grandchildren. They lie buried side by side in Duncanville, Texas.

Nephew Yale Guen Mar was not welcome at the funerals by the Mar clan, and for understandable reasons.

But then Yale Guen Mar wasn't welcome at the funerals of his parents Tony Chee Mar and Kim Hi Wong either. No one wanted him at the funerals.

At Qingming Festival every year, Homer Yale Mar and his siblings pay respect to their parents Ben Shee Mar and Susan Suey Oy Wong, and all relatives and ancestors who have passed away. They spend time tidying up the graves and tombstones of Ben Shee Mar and Susan Suey Oy Wong. They offer food, flowers and paper money to their ancestors.

In stark contrast, Yale Guen Mar spends time sulking about times when he got thrashed by his father Tony Chee Mar and mother Kim Hi Wong for misbehavior.

Tony Chee Mar and Ben Shee Mar were twins.

Tony Chee Mar married Kim Hi Wong. They had lasting regrets about son Yale Guen Mar who gave them only grief.

Tony Chee Mar (1915-1999) was born in 1915, to Hall T. Mar(Chan) and Choi Kang Ma.

Tony married Kim Hi Wong. They had 5 children: Eugene Yale Mar, Yale Guen Mar, Donald Yale Mar and 2 other children.

Tony passed away in 1999, at age 84 in Arizona.

Yale Guen Mar was not allowed at the funeral because no one wanted him there.

https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/soc.culture.china/0gktBIhvVfk
Post by Zhong Liang
Yale Guen Mar, you are an ingrate, You bite the hand of parents that feeds
you. Without them feeding you, how can you grow up without them? You eat
rice or pasta, and yet you don't know their price. It shows that you are an
ignorant fool. It shows that you are an ingrate. You have character flaws.
Perhaps you should stop blaming your dead parents, and repent your life,
Just stop blaming your mother, Kim Hi Wong, and your father, Tony Chee Mar,
for all your rants. You are now 77. Own up to your character flaws before
you faked away.
Tony Chee Mar and Kim Hi Wong were good parents. They did everything possible for Yale Guen Mar. Unfortunately, Yale Guen Mar was a very bad son. He continued to wallow in selfishness and utter stupidity.

https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/soc.culture.china/Cl4-o1wzUPk
Post by Zhong Liang
All my relatives/ancestry before my generation were losers.
So don't ever talk about them to me. I have nothing but
contempt for them. And it includes all the cousins I have.
Yale Guen Mar, you used to lie to your parents, uncle and aunt. And now you lie on the newsgroup. Yale Guen Mar, you are all sleaze with not an iota of any redeeming feature.

Yale Guen Mar was a bad son from day one. He was not welcome at the funerals of his uncle and aunt abd even at the funerals of his own parents.

To put Yale Guen Mar's villainy in perspective, no one in the Mar clan wanted Yale Guen Mar to attend the funerals of Yale Guen Mar's Uncle (his father's twin brother) some 30 years ago. The pattern was repeated at the funeral of Yale Guen Mar's aunt about half-a-dozen years ago. No one in the Mar clan could stand the thought of Yale Guen Mar being at the funeral. So, cousin Yue Chung Mar very plainly told Yale Guen Mar that he was not welcome.

Yale Guen Ma was a bad son right from his birth !!

A bad mother is a rarity. A bad son a far more common occurrence. Yale Guen Mar is of course trying to shift the blame on his mother. But it is obvious that it is Yale Guen Mar who was always at fault.


Yale Guen Mar never supported his parents financially or otherwise.. It was the parents who indulged Yale Guen Mar when they allowed him to retain his room in their house long after he was no longer a minor.

Yale Guen Mar lost his room only when his 3 siblings put an end to the indulgence. They got rid of everything that Yale Guen Mar had stored in t hat room, including his collection of his semen-stained photos of his favorite pigs.

No one in the Mar family (including the 3 siblings) wants to remember Yale Guen Mar, and understandably so. Yale Guen Mar was specifically told by family members that he was not welcome at the funeral of his own parents, let alone at the funerals of cousin Yue Chung Mar's parents.

Yale Guen Mar is hated by everyone in the Mar clan and rightly so.
Post by Zhong Liang
Post by rst9
Satish, stop talking about the dead.
Dead is the end.
Now, stop it.
The world has enough trouble already without the past.
Yale Guen Mar, stop holding grudges against your parents. They did their best for you. But unfortunately, your character flaws made it certain that no one could save you from your self-destructive bent.
If Kim Hi Wong (your mother) thrashed you, it was always in the hope that you will realize that you are in the wrong and turn to a better way of life. It never happened.
It gave Kim Hi Wong no pleasure to thrash you. After thrashing you, she would always be in deep anguish. She had cried a thousand times while talking of her anguish to her sister-in-law, Susan Suey Oy Wong.
Now they are all dead. They can no longer punish you for your errant ways. Stop holding a grudge against them.
On November 5, Tony Chee Mar would have turned 101. Go and visit his grave in Lot 9 at East Palm Cemetery in Tucson, AZ. Offer flowers, paper money, incense - anything to show your respect. It won't make a difference to them because they are dead. But it will make a big difference to you to acknowledge your debt to parents and to your uncle and aunt. You'll be happier.
s***@gmail.com
2016-11-03 17:09:41 UTC
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Chronicles:

Sam Kee Hall begat Mar Kim Hall

Mar Kim Hall begat Hall T. Mar (Chan)

Hall T. Mar begat twins Ben Shee Mar (buried in Texas) and Tony Chee Mar (buried in Arizona). They were born on 11/5/1915

Ben Shee Mar begat Homer Yale Mar who was born in 1935. He retired as a colonel of the US army.

Tony Chee Mar begat Yale Guen Mar (born on 2/1/1938).

Tony Chee Mar also begat Arizona physicians Eugene Yale Mar and Donald Yale Mar.

Yale Guen Mar's photos:

https://picasaweb.google.com/112462267608865651931/ScrapbookPhotos#
Post by s***@gmail.com
Yale Guen Mar, 914 10th Street in Phoenix should have been like your home. Instead you chose to make it a storage place for your contrabands.
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/soc.culture.china/ee6C3jdVajw
Post by Zhong Liang
I am very much interested in hearing from Chinese-Americans within the
United States on how their aged parents/grandparents were faring in
their sunset years. It was ironic for me growing up in a small town,
living in California most of my adult life about a thousand miles from
"home". As each of us gets older and educated, we leave "home" only to
come "home" for visit once or twice a year. My sibblings live in
Tucson about 125 miles away leaving my parents alone at "home". To me,
"home" was, is and will always be 914 10th St. and I never take any of
my things from "home" to California.
Then my father got sick and checked into the hospital. My brother in
Tucson returned "home" and talked to the doctor, who said my father may
be in hospital for about a week. Since my mother can not speak English
and alone at home, he decided to transfer my father to Tucson Medical
Center where he works and move my mother to a retirement home in
Tucson. The house was sold. "Home" is no more. All my college year
photos were gone, my short-wave radio, my gun collection, everything in
my bedroom, including the photos of my favorite pigs, were thrown away
or given away without telling me.
My father recovered and moved into the retirement home with my mother,
each taken up a room with a cost of $1,200/month each for a total of
$2,400. With no outside activities and eat and sleep, my father died
in 15 months later. My mother died two years later after my father. I
believe my mother died of loneliness and neglect. I have 3 sibblings
living in Tucson, not one would visit and talk to my mother often
enough to care.
Yale Guen Mar, can't you ever get over the loss of your gun collection, photos of your favorite pigs and your short-wave radio? Donald and Eugene were only trying to protect you from yourself.
Yale Guen Mar, you are being grossly unfair to your brothers Eugene Yale Mar and Donald Yale Mar. They were achievers. The only reason they got rid of your gun collection, short-wave radio and the photos of your favorite pigs was to save you from yourself.
Quit holding grudges against Donald and Eugene, Get their help to cope with your problems.
Funeral rites for an elderly person follow the prescribed form and convey relevant respect: rites befitting the person's status, age etc. are performed even if this means the family of the deceased must go into debt to pay for them.
Ben Shee Mar and Susan Suye Oy Wong were fortunate to be honored at their burial by their children and grandchildren. They lie buried side by side in Duncanville, Texas.
Nephew Yale Guen Mar was not welcome at the funerals by the Mar clan, and for understandable reasons.
But then Yale Guen Mar wasn't welcome at the funerals of his parents Tony Chee Mar and Kim Hi Wong either. No one wanted him at the funerals.
At Qingming Festival every year, Homer Yale Mar and his siblings pay respect to their parents Ben Shee Mar and Susan Suey Oy Wong, and all relatives and ancestors who have passed away. They spend time tidying up the graves and tombstones of Ben Shee Mar and Susan Suey Oy Wong. They offer food, flowers and paper money to their ancestors.
In stark contrast, Yale Guen Mar spends time sulking about times when he got thrashed by his father Tony Chee Mar and mother Kim Hi Wong for misbehavior.
Tony Chee Mar and Ben Shee Mar were twins.
Tony Chee Mar married Kim Hi Wong. They had lasting regrets about son Yale Guen Mar who gave them only grief.
Tony Chee Mar (1915-1999) was born in 1915, to Hall T. Mar(Chan) and Choi Kang Ma.
Tony married Kim Hi Wong. They had 5 children: Eugene Yale Mar, Yale Guen Mar, Donald Yale Mar and 2 other children.
Tony passed away in 1999, at age 84 in Arizona.
Yale Guen Mar was not allowed at the funeral because no one wanted him there.
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/soc.culture.china/0gktBIhvVfk
Post by Zhong Liang
Yale Guen Mar, you are an ingrate, You bite the hand of parents that feeds
you. Without them feeding you, how can you grow up without them? You eat
rice or pasta, and yet you don't know their price. It shows that you are an
ignorant fool. It shows that you are an ingrate. You have character flaws.
Perhaps you should stop blaming your dead parents, and repent your life,
Just stop blaming your mother, Kim Hi Wong, and your father, Tony Chee Mar,
for all your rants. You are now 77. Own up to your character flaws before
you faked away.
Tony Chee Mar and Kim Hi Wong were good parents. They did everything possible for Yale Guen Mar. Unfortunately, Yale Guen Mar was a very bad son. He continued to wallow in selfishness and utter stupidity.
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/soc.culture.china/Cl4-o1wzUPk
Post by Zhong Liang
All my relatives/ancestry before my generation were losers.
So don't ever talk about them to me. I have nothing but
contempt for them. And it includes all the cousins I have.
Yale Guen Mar, you used to lie to your parents, uncle and aunt. And now you lie on the newsgroup. Yale Guen Mar, you are all sleaze with not an iota of any redeeming feature.
Yale Guen Mar was a bad son from day one. He was not welcome at the funerals of his uncle and aunt abd even at the funerals of his own parents.
To put Yale Guen Mar's villainy in perspective, no one in the Mar clan wanted Yale Guen Mar to attend the funerals of Yale Guen Mar's Uncle (his father's twin brother) some 30 years ago. The pattern was repeated at the funeral of Yale Guen Mar's aunt about half-a-dozen years ago. No one in the Mar clan could stand the thought of Yale Guen Mar being at the funeral. So, cousin Yue Chung Mar very plainly told Yale Guen Mar that he was not welcome.
Yale Guen Ma was a bad son right from his birth !!
A bad mother is a rarity. A bad son a far more common occurrence. Yale Guen Mar is of course trying to shift the blame on his mother. But it is obvious that it is Yale Guen Mar who was always at fault.
Yale Guen Mar never supported his parents financially or otherwise.. It was the parents who indulged Yale Guen Mar when they allowed him to retain his room in their house long after he was no longer a minor.
Yale Guen Mar lost his room only when his 3 siblings put an end to the indulgence. They got rid of everything that Yale Guen Mar had stored in t hat room, including his collection of his semen-stained photos of his favorite pigs.
No one in the Mar family (including the 3 siblings) wants to remember Yale Guen Mar, and understandably so. Yale Guen Mar was specifically told by family members that he was not welcome at the funeral of his own parents, let alone at the funerals of cousin Yue Chung Mar's parents.
Yale Guen Mar is hated by everyone in the Mar clan and rightly so.
Post by Zhong Liang
Post by rst9
Satish, stop talking about the dead.
Dead is the end.
Now, stop it.
The world has enough trouble already without the past.
Yale Guen Mar, stop holding grudges against your parents. They did their best for you. But unfortunately, your character flaws made it certain that no one could save you from your self-destructive bent.
If Kim Hi Wong (your mother) thrashed you, it was always in the hope that you will realize that you are in the wrong and turn to a better way of life. It never happened.
It gave Kim Hi Wong no pleasure to thrash you. After thrashing you, she would always be in deep anguish. She had cried a thousand times while talking of her anguish to her sister-in-law, Susan Suey Oy Wong.
Now they are all dead. They can no longer punish you for your errant ways. Stop holding a grudge against them.
On November 5, Tony Chee Mar would have turned 101. Go and visit his grave in Lot 9 at East Palm Cemetery in Tucson, AZ. Offer flowers, paper money, incense - anything to show your respect. It won't make a difference to them because they are dead. But it will make a big difference to you to acknowledge your debt to parents and to your uncle and aunt. You'll be happier.
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2017-05-15 06:34:07 UTC
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Post by Resty Wyse
They all can go to hell as far as I am concerned.
No one in my family gave a second thought to dead people.
No one in Ben's family gave a second thought to dead people.
You Indians wasted your time concerning the dead.
Dead is dead. Go on with your lives. Leave the dead to the dead.
Tony Chee Mar is indeed dead, Yale Guen Mar. But you can't leave him dead and forgotten.

Yale Guen Mar, you must always honor your ancestors.

Now that the year of the rooster is upon us, make a resolution that you shall be visiting Tony Chee Mar's grave from now on. He is buried in East Palm Cemetery (Lot 49) in Tucson, Arizona.

Here is the photo of Yale Guen Mar's spiritual counselor who belongs to the Falun Gong. Yale Guen Mar wears a locket with this spiritual counsellor's photo as a talisman:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/***@N07/

Yale Guen Mar's photos:

https://picasaweb.google.com/112462267608865651931/ScrapbookPhotos#

Yale Guen Mar's live-in-nurse Meichi Thai:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/***@N00/

Chronicles:

Sam Kee Hall begat Mar Kim Hall

Mar Kim Hall begat Hall T. Mar (Chan was first husband who sired the twins Ben Shee Mar and Tony Chee Mar)

Second husband of Mar Kim Hall (Hall T. Mar) adopted twins Ben Shee Mar (buried in Texas) and Tony Chee Mar (buried in Arizona). They were born on 11/5/1915

Ben Shee Mar begat Homer Yale Mar who was born in 1935. He retired as a colonel of the US army.

Tony Chee Mar begat Yale Guen Mar (born on 2/1/1938).

Tony Chee Mar also begat Arizona physicians Eugene Yale Mar and Donald Yale Mar.

Yale Guen Mar, it is time to make a new beginning. Forget your grudge against your "dad" Tony Chee Mar.

Remember everything you owe him. You met Tony Chee Mar for the first time as a 11 year old FOB in San Francisco - you had arrived from Hong Kong in 1949 after the communists took over the country you were born in. Tony Chee Mar (a US citizen) declared that you were his son so that you could be in USA.

Remember what he told you when you arrived in San Francisco. Tony said, "Yale, you are a turkey.". Tony then added, "This is Thanksgiving. We are going to have turkey." Wonder-struck, you asked him, "What is Thanksgiving, what is turkey?"

Tony Chee Mar brought you up in his home in 914 10th Street in Phoenix, AZ. He let you work in his cafe. He taught you English and mathematics.

And, yes, he did punish you often, but that was because he had to. He hoped his (and Kim Hi Wong's) punishments will help you become a better person.

Unfortunately, you were incorrigible. You just couldn't stay on the straight and narrow. This, together with the obsession you had developed as a child in rural China of finger-fucking pigs in their assholes, made sure that you were never more than the miserable self you are right now.

But don't be an ingrate. Tony Chee Mar did his best to bring you up properly. You owe him immense debt. The least you can do is to visit Tony Chee Mar's grave now and then. Do so on November 5 (birthday), March 28 (day of death) and, of course, at Quingming festival and Ghost festival. You will be a happier man if you do so.

Yale Guen Mar, keep these two dates etched in your brain for good:

November 5, 1915 (Tony Chee Mar's birth)

March 28, 1999 (Tony Chee Mar's death)

These two days, visit his grave in Lot 49 of East Palm Cemetery in Tucson, AZ.

Meet the other descendants of Tony Chee Mar - sons Donald and Eugene and daughter Ellen. Even grandson Brenton and great grand children Valentina and Luca.

Help them as they tidy up the grave site, clean the tomb stone, offer incense and paper money.


Tony Chee Mar owned a cafe in Arizona.

He died in March of 1999 and is buried in Lot 49 of East Palm Cemetery in Tucson, AZ.

Sons Donald and Eugene and daughter Ellen regularly visits the grave.

Among Tony Chee Mar's close relatives are the following:

Kim Hi Wong - wife

Hall T Mar (actually Tony Chee Mar was sired by Chan) - father

Choi Kang Ma - mother

Ben Shee Mar - identical twin brother

Sing Hawk Jue - stepfather

Toy Gee Jue - stepsister

Eugene Yale Mar - son

Donald Yale Mar - son

Ellen Heath - daughter

Yale Guen Mar - (son)

======================

Tony Chee Mar

Born: Nov 5 1915
Death: March, 1999
Burial: East Palm Cemetery in Tuscon, Arizona (Lot 49)

Wife: Kim Hi Wong

Born: 1912
Death: March 28, 2001

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